Contains adult themes: this story covers an adult performer’s podcast interview about dating and her work. Nothing explicit is described.
In brief: On And Now We Drink episode 477, first posted Oct. 22 and re-released as a YouTube premiere Oct. 30, Samantha Reigns told host Matt Slayer she now waits until the third date to tell men what she does, once fell hard for a man in a casual arrangement she was sure she could handle, and ended things with a date who said he had kicked a door down the day before.
Samantha Reigns has a dating system. It has two parts: a waiting period and a red-flag detector. Both get a workout.
The third-date rule
Asked whether she tells men up front that she works in adult content, Reigns explained her policy to Slayer: “I wait till third date now. Two dates to get to know me and for me to get to know them on a genuine base and then I tell them.” She said she isn’t hiding it. If they ask, she answers. “But they haven’t asked me, so.”
Slayer, for the record, takes the opposite approach. His industry connections, he said, are right there on his dating app profiles.
Hometown review
Reigns is from Charlotte, and her assessment of the local dating pool was not a tourism ad. “The Charlotte d*ck out there is not great,” she said, with one exception she made for a past situationship. Los Angeles, she said, has been an improvement.
The game she lost
That situationship came with a twist. She said there were already two other women in the picture when she arrived, and she decided to treat it as a game she could win. “I’m going to win,” she remembered thinking. Her plan was to keep it casual; her line of work, she figured, had her covered there.
The plan lasted about as long as you’d expect. By her account, she ended up falling for him hard, and it had to end.
Her takeaway applies well beyond the industry: red flags, she said, are usually bright at the start, until you turn the dimmer down “to the very lowest setting where it’s almost off.”
The door
These days the dimmer is up. She told Slayer she values “not just honesty, but transparency,” and one date gave her plenty. She said:
he straight up told me that he had just kicked a door down like the day before from being angry
“And I was like, okay, like you still have things you need to work on and it’s not gonna work for me.” Slayer agreed it was better to find out early.
Reading the room
Some of her radar came from the strip club, where she said she learned to read people to figure out who had money. Her early theory was the heavyset guy had to be loaded; it “didn’t work all the time.” One skill stuck, though: she said she has a very easy time spotting surgeons. “They all have very soft hands and it’s all about their demeanor.”
Porn helped too. Her first scene, she said, was VR, so a self-described “shy girl” had to hold a conversation with a camera that didn’t talk back. “They had to feed me the script.”
For the record, she also didn’t go to Waffle House until she was 17. Her verdict on that, at least, was unreserved: “Their waffles are really, really, really, really good.”